Mo Bettah.

 by admin in Travel4

You may have received the impression from the Oahu post that we had little better to do than eat and shop (other than visit Pearl Harbor).

That is true. Had our visit to Hawai’i stopped at Honolulu, we would have had NO IDEA.

Twenty minutes after landing on the Big Island, we were seeing this:

And we, in turn, looked like this:

Those expressions are, roughly translated, “What the fuck were we doing in Honolulu all that time?”

The waterfall, incidentally, is Akaka Falls, north of Hilo.

Again: Akaka Falls.

Pictorial evidence to the right.

Look, Hawai’i, we’re all proud of our heritage. But you’ve gotta make concessions to the mainland idiots who form your tourism base. The sign says, to our juvenile minds, “A CACA FALLS. LOOK OUT!”

If you think we’re above getting HOURS of infantile mileage out of such a thing, you’ve got another thing coming.

This does nothing, however, to diminish the beauty of the place. Everything Singapore was trying to be artificially, Hawai’i is for reals.

The windward (Hilo) side of the island is lush and lovely and green. The leeward side (Kona) is sunny and beachy. We stayed on the Kohala coast, north of Kona, in a lovely little rental condo.

Kohala is a manmade oasis in the middle of some major lava flow deserts. Relax? You bet! ZZZZ.

Maybe too much.

You see, like everywhere you visit, there are a bunch of “gottas” that go along with Hawai’i. “Oh, you’ve gotta see all the hidden beaches and fishpools and you’ve gotta see the volcano—preferably from a helicopter—and you’ve gotta snorkel and you’ve gotta zipline and you’ve gotta go to a lu’au and you’ve gotta gotta gotta GOTTA.”

You know what, though? You don’t. Sometimes you’ve just gotta breathe after a LOOOONG time abroad and have some eats and drinks.

And NOT doing things gives you a fantastic excuse to come back so you CAN do them. Right?

Mai Tai, anyone?


The Boys.

adminMo Bettah.